Wrapping an object is easy but what if
someone has you wrapped around their fingers? Have you imagine yourself being
wrapped up into a box? You would not be able to get out. Binds wrapped tightly
around your body, hands, legs and a cloth around your mouth. You are unable to
speak, get up or even move a muscle, now that is a nightmare.
Some of us will think that if we experienced
that, we would not be here by now. Then, it is not physically but mentally or
emotionally wrapped up. Mentally wrapped up is like unable to show your true
potential to everyone because something or someone is preventing you to do so.
Thus, emotionally wrapped up is like in your darkest deepest moments, someone
came and comforts you. You will feel that the person was gathering all the
broken feelings and wrapped it up, just like new.
During my last three years in primary and
first two years in secondary, I had joined a basketball team. My teammates and
I fought side by side with each other for five years for the team, Yak Chee. During
competitions, our communications on the court was spot on, our defense created
offense, our scoring percentage were high. Every spectator thought our coach
was satisfied with the team and we had easy training. Well, that was not what
was happening during our training sessions.
Let us face the fact now, every tutor,
teacher, coach will have their favourite students, including our coach, Mr.
Woon. The ones who got into the state team or national team are his favourites.
The ones that are tall and fast are his favourites. Me? I was in the middle,
the one who got compared with and brought down. I was the normal standard
player in the team. My defense, offense, shooting, stamina were not on top but
not the worst at the same time.
Mr. Woon often compared me to his favourites.
Telling me that I cannot get to where they are because I was lazy, he does not
need me in the team or I was the burden of the team. Heartbreaking? Yes. He
does not teach me what he taught them, he often says that I was unable to reach
their standards. Therefore, I cannot be paired with them. As he was my coach, I
am not supposed to speak up or step up and say “ I want to try ” as that will
get me kick off the team.
As years and competitions passed, I was still
unable to redeem myself. I always feel like I was not part of the team as my
age group was training in the court beside me. I was unable to show the coach
that I can do it and convince him to put me back to compete side by side with
my team. Mr. Woon was slowly wrapping me up till the point where it was hard to
break free.
As I got older, I see things more clearly and
was upset that I was still yet to prove him wrong. At the same time, Mr. Woon
doubted my skills and abilities. He kept trying to find my flaws and scolded
me. Sometimes, one of his favourites did something wrong and I just so happens
to be standing beside her, will take the blame. As this kept going on for
training after training, my sadness had grown to anger and hatred towards the
coach and one day, I just blew up.
It was the starting of 2015. Our first day
back to school and my first day back to training in 2015. As I was starting the
year as a Form 3 student, I had to wake up early to school. I woke up before
the sun even comes out. I did my morning routine and made some breakfast to
enjoy. When I was about to go to school, Mr. Sun was just started to wake up,
greeted the world with his warm hugs. Orange hues filled the sky, it was a
breathtaking scenario.
School was great, met new and old friends. We
were busy sharing our memories of the holidays around the table and just did
what students do on the first day of school. We had extra class every day
except for Wednesday after school till 1:40 p.m. As the bell rang at 1:40 p.m.,
I rushed out of the school and into my grandfather’s car. I was going to my
primary school to teach the juniors.
I bathed and changed there, had lunch and we
started training. The training ended at 6 p.m. and the secondary will continue
training till 10:30 p.m. During the training, one of his favourites’ was not on
time but Mr. Woon blamed it on me yet again. The anger inside me just blew up
and I said, “ but it was her ”. That, set my coach on fire. That was the day
that I got kicked out of the team.
I went home crying. Who wouldn’t? I just got
kicked out of the team that I was fighting with for 5 years. My hard work,
tears, sweats and blood just got thrown out of the window. I missed school for
a day, busy gathering all the broken pieces up, trying to fix myself.
Unfortunately, I cannot. I was drowning myself in sadness but I did not have
the strength to swim back up. Then, something happened.
Out of the blue, I saw multiple hands,
reaching for me, chanting for me to get a hold on them. Then, I realized, it
was my friends. They came to my house and comforted me, telling me that if
someone doubted me, I should leave and move on. I should not be miserable doing
the things I love. They helped me got over this incident. After weeks, I was
back on my feet. With my friends’ help, I was able to collect all the broken
pieces and created a stronger, better me.
We should never let someone has the rights to
wrap us up. We are who we are, we should not change ourselves for the sakes of
others. We should show our true potential all the time, keeping yourself lock
up is not good for you. When we see anybody who is in need of help, we should
help them get back up. We should not pull anyone down or doubt anyone’s
abilities. We should accept our friends, family, strangers, classmates for who
they are.
That is so unfair...but it might have been better to leave instead of continue being even more "wrapped up". I like the visual indicators to intangible descriptions; being wrapped up is a nice way to say it :) as some basketball friends like to say, "fighting! /insert muscled arm-fist". Now you're part of a champion prop and drama team :D
ReplyDeleteIt was unfair if you see it from the outside view but when I was in the team, to me, it was just a normal thing and the coach probably had a rough day. Seriously kudos to Pn Sue for giving me this title so I can use another way to express what I need to say. And yeah. Fighting πͺ π and Yes, I'm really glad and also honored to be a part of a champion prop and drama team π I had to think about who you are at first but I think your Ashley. If not, sorry π Anyways, thanks for reading ππ
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