The Effect of a Friend on My Life

“A friend in need is a friend indeed”, and that is undeniably true. Needless to say, I think all of us have experienced heartbreaks from friends to relationships. It is true that a friend will always come and go, but there is this one friend in our life, who stayed through the rough times, the one who always has your back and lend a shoulder to lean on. Colleen is that friend in my life. She had effected my life since the day she stepped onto it. It all started when I joined the basketball team as a junior.

  As a junior, I always looked up to the senior team. The second I stepped into the court, I saw Colleen. Why? Everyone was chattering away among their group of friends but she was by the bench, arranging routines, marking attendance and jotting down strategies to win against the opponent’s team. The simple action taken by her had shown me, she is a responsible captain. She took the responsibility of winning a match into her own hands. When the coach had not arrived or fell sick, she took charge of the training schedule and the smoothness of the training. She had proved to me that, one must be responsible of one’s action and know when to take responsibility into one’s hand. That, is one of the many traits of a good leader.

  Months passed and she was soon to be taking the biggest examination in a high schooler’s life, SPM. Just from the look in her eyes, I knew that she had been burning the midnight oil from the previous day. There was no denying that she was indeed a hardworking student. Whether it is in class or during practices, she will always be on her ‘A’ game. A hardworking student like her had shown everyone that, if you just work hard for something you want, you will get it, despite the impossible. Her actions had truly made me believe that ‘impossible’ is just ‘i m possible’ in disguise.

  Time flew by like lightning and our friendship had been getting better day by day. I was soon in sophomore year and she graduated. In that year, I was facing the lowest point in my life. In short, it was a memory that I would never want to go back to. I was placed in a class with new people and new teachers. It was all sugar, spice and everything nice, until we were greeted by a transfer student. Her name was Yin Thong and let me tell you, she was not the kind of person who was shy and kind. My first impression of her was not even near good, she was plainly rude to me. After a while, I had learned to ignore her rude remarks and focus on my friends who always have nice things to say.

  As the new girl found out that I did not care much about her, she started acting all nice and shy around my friends. One by one, I lost most of my friends from my class, only leaving one or two who stood by me. The ones who left started ganging up on me, throwing random insults here and there. It became hard for me to go to school. I would constantly be picked on by my so called ‘friends’ every day in school. As time went on, I could not cope with the stress anymore and I had chosen the worst possible way of release, which was cutting myself. I was upset, angry, betrayed, hurt and sad, self-harming seemed like the only solution to all of this, or so I thought.

  I remembered picking up a blade for the first time. My hands were trembling and my heart was beating like an African bongo. Without much thinking, I had made my very first cut. A sense of relief soon ran over my body. It was like as if I had no control over my actions, I began inflicting numerous cuts on my wrist. It used to be one or two but it was so addictive, I could not stop. Long sleeve shirts and jeans were my daily attire as I felt so ugly seeing all my scars. Inaudible cries accompanied me to sleep every night. I was scared and young, I did not dare to tell my parents. The only one who knew, was Colleen.

  Although I was covered in scars and was a nervous wreck, she did not leave. She stood by my side, assuring me that I was okay. She even managed to set up series of counsellor meetings for me. Her efforts had allowed me to believe there was still hope in humanity. However, with the helps from Colleen, it was not enough to stop the bullying. It was not enough to stop the never-ending voices which roamed my head, always telling me that I was worthless to the world. I was suffering day by day but it seemed like the smile I placed every day had fooled everyone. Everyone but Colleen.

  Everything kept happening, till one day. After school, I was met by a news from my parents discussing that we were in a fiscal crisis. They could not afford both my brother’s and my education fees. The single thought that went through my head was, I should back down and let my brother live a better life, a life I wished I had but never did. I was already messed up in my head, there was no reason for me to continue my life and waste my parents’ money. It was then, I made up my mind and which had determined my life ahead.

  “Bye, I would not cause you any trouble ever again. Thanks for staying”, with a click of a button, that message was sent to Colleen. With a rope in both of my hands, I swung the rope over and tied it to a bar. A stool under my feet, my head into the loop, I sucked in my last breath and say a silent goodbye. 13^th of October 2014, the day I had chosen to end my life. The day everyone who knew me would be so much happier. The day I decided to commit suicide. I was about to kick off the chair and slip into a dark abyss, known as death. I was abrupted by the bedroom door be broken down, stood in front of me was my teary-eyed parents and a paled Colleen.

  I had come to know that, right after Colleen received my message, she had rushed to my house and tried to save me. She was driving over the speed limit, risking her own life, to save mine. It was then, I realised, she cared. Out of the million people she could care about, she cared about me. Her pure kind words, whispered into my ears, soothing me with her melodious tune. My head lied on her shoulder, tears streaming down my face like Niagara Falls.

  The first time when I inflicted harm onto myself, I never thought I would choose recovery. Colleen’s actions had made me think otherwise. I started to seek help from professional therapist, counselling meetings once every week, the support from my family and Colleen had changed my life for the better. Now, I am fully recovered and living a positive lifestyle. Colleen is not just my friend, she is my inspiration, my motivation, my backbone and finally, my hero.

  In life, there will be friends coming from all walks of life. A person does not need many friends who talks behind their backs. The ones who stay, are the ones who truly are our best friend. It is not just friends who changes our life, it can be our family and teachers too. Nevertheless, as long as it is a change for the better, it will always be considered a true blessing to have them in our life.